Finals coming up, internship project deadlines and yet my mind is exhausted and running everywhere. Beer it is.
Life is just too short. You were strong, athletic, healthy and yet it was your time to go. I wish I could have seen you before you left but you’re 109 kilometers away. I just wish I could have said goodbye. You once told me that there are three important aspects to life: to be healthy, educated, and happy. You said that one needed all three to have a fulfilling life for what is knowledge and happiness without health? What is health and happiness when you have no education. What is education and health if you have no happiness. Thank you for always encouraging me, not telling me to get a certain grade or to be a doctor or lawyer, but to pour my efforts to educating myself. You were an inspiration to me. May you now rest in Gods kingdom; I love you gramps. June 17, 2014.
From bad to worse. I need to do so many things. I need to become a better person. A more selfless person. A more listening person. A more humble person. A more caring person. A more loving person. A smarter person. A more talented person. I struggle with trying to be something better. I need to manage my lifestyle better; sleep earlier and keep my room neat and tidy. Honestly days like this just break me. I’m so thrown off my game; so many chapters to catch up on. So much material I need to cover. I just need a break but a break is something I can’t afford. I’m too far behind of the pack. I just wish I could be a better me. I’m pretty damn pathetic.
What a perfect day. She came to church with me and thoroughly enjoyed the message. Then we went to my appartment and ate beef ribs then went to VPL to study for midterms in which we were very productive! Finally, went to dinner with her family and got to see Kayla and finally meet Kev! I hope she comes to church with me more often!! PTL.
I’m such a disappointment to myself. People say: “oh you’ve done your best, it’s okay!”. No it’s not okay. When I can barely make the co-op cutoff GPA, what good is it to be “above class average”. Class average doesn’t mean anything. Where you stand with the smartest people in your class is what matters. I just can’t seem to perform at the level I want to. I’m disappointed in myself that I can’t achieve what I want to achieve. I’m such a great person now ey.